July 19, 2010


So, yesterday was a crazy, busy day for me....but such an amazingly good day, and I could not have predicted how good it would really be! Warning: I am a changed woman, changed by the grace of my heavenly father, and a new awareness of what life should really look like....so, read at your own risk! (that's my disclaimer)


I went to church yesterday, not really expecting anything really out of the ordinary. That was my problem. I am in an amazing church, with an incredibly gifted and anointed Pastor and MusicMan (aka, my husband, the worship pastor), and didn't expect anything different, or too out of the ordinary when I went there. I repent of that! How many of us get stuck in that line of thinking?? Ouch. God moves. All the time. We miss it. A lot. There, I said it.

So, I digress. I was in church, and we had an evangelist come yesterday, for the morning and evening services. His name is Sean Smith, and he is anointed and has a heart for people to not only enter the kingdom, but to walk in the fullness of what God has called them to be! The word he gave in the morning has totally changed my life. I mean that with 100% sincerity. My heart and mind are different today, after receiving what he gave out yesterday....and I can't wait to share it with you, so hopefully, you will be changed too!

His text was in Numbers 13:27-14:1. He was teaching on the spirit of Anak. Basically, this is the spirit that comes to stop you in the anointing so you never step in and take the territory God has for you. It neutralizes warfare, causes you to feel inadequate, causes insecurity and overwhelms you with that feeling, it exaggerates obstacles and circumstances against you, it causes you to honor your fears more than you honor your God, it exchanges Biblical correctness for political correctness, causes you to compare what you lack to what others posses, and allows demoralization to take control of your situation. Whew. Heavy, but how many of you can relate to any of that, or even see where it takes over in your everyday life? I hate to admit, but that is how I was living....and I can't even really call that living....let's say, that's how I was existing.

After hearing that....and seeing how much of a hold all of that had in my life....I started wondering....what would happen if I didn't cower to these things? What would happen if I allow God to lead me to talk to strangers, to pray for people on the street, to tell people I don't know about my Abba Daddy?? What would happen to my city if I cast off all of my insecurities and boldly went and shared my God with a lost and dying world?? What does it really matter if a random stranger thinks I'm weird? What happens if that person's life is dramatically transformed because I don't care what they think about me, and do care what happens to them? What would this world look like if we all did this?

My heart cried out during that entire service....screaming YES, this is what you were made to be!!! Free to be a daughter of the King of Kings, and help to lead people into their destiny in Christ. Free to share my faith, that has given me so much hope and life, with people who have no hope or life left inside them. Free to be who God created me to be, and unashamed to let the whole world see it!!

There was an incident that happened in Wal Mart just a couple weeks ago, that I will share with you. I am ashamed that I did not step out here, but hopefully you can do better than I did if you find yourself in the same situation....I had been shopping with my mom and kids, and we were walking out of the store, past the bathrooms in the front. There was a woman sitting on the bench outside the bathrooms, an empty cart in front of her, and she was hunched over, her head in her hand. She just looked so dejected, and broken, and sad. My heart broke for her, and was turned toward her. I wanted to stop and sit next to her and ask her if she was ok, and if it would be ok to pray with her. I, unfortunately, did not do this. I was frustrated by the whole shopping trip, I wanted to get home and feed the kids lunch, and get in the pool. I was afraid she would think I was crazy. I was afraid she would reject me. I kept walking, but I have not forgotten that woman. Not one day goes by that I do not think about her, pray for her, and wonder what would have happened if I had been obedient and sat down next to her, and poured out God's love for her. I can only wonder now....but I could know what would have happened had I stopped.

See, I am learning, very slowly, that loving people can be inconvenient. It's not like we can plan an hour in our day where we say....ok, I am going to allow God to lead me to minister to random people, in random situations right now. It's not pretty, and scheduled, and coordinated....truly loving people gets messy, and interferes with life. Being a bit of a type A, this gets some getting used to.....but I want to share the love God has shown me! So, I'm gonna have to let go!

There are a couple more things God showed me that I want to share real quick, and then I'm done for today. I just can't keep this to myself, and I pray it affects you the way it did me. We need God in this world, everywhere....not just in our churches.

Here are some things Evangelist Sean shared that I wrote down that impacted me....the following are his words, not mine....

God gives us promises because he wants THAT to be our reality.

Intimidation will replace intent.

Opposition attaches to what you refuse to remove.

Perfect LOVE casts out ALL fear!!

Give me an abandoned spirit! (be careful if you pray that one....He will!!)

Then he shared something else that really hit me hard, and I pray I don't mess up on this one, for the sake of my kids. God gives us all battles that we have to fight in our lives. My kids will have to fight the battles that they have to fight, but they will also have to fight the battles that I choose NOT to fight! So, I pray God helps me fight the battles that come my way, so my kids won't have to do what I was supposed to!!

OK...I'm done, for now. This word is just so exploding out of me, that I wanted to share it! I pray that whoever reads this will be changed, and become light and love to a world that is crying out for something with meaning!

Be blessed today as you change your corner of the world!

No comments: