The waiting is over, and we are on our way to a new life!! We got the news we've waited for for so long, and now we are just waiting for all of the minor details! Thank you Jesus, you hear and you answer...and you don't let us give up on our dreams!
I will be back soon-ish with all of the details...but for now, we rejoice!!
So, God has been moving in our lives, and doing amazing things in our hearts, and I still get stuck on the waiting part! I have made progress in this area.....actually, A LOT of progress in learning to wait on God....but, like most other people, I still could use some work!
We have been in transition now, as a family, since November 22...that's 5 months!! We thought we'd be out of money and food and in danger of losing our house by January 1st. God must be getting a good chuckle out of that thought process!! My God has provided all our needs, wants and desires faithfully and abundantly above all we could think or imagine during this past 5 months....and again, why am I surprised?!?! I still find myself surprised that I am amazed at what God does...after all, I KNOW He can do anything!! I grew up in a family where I saw God's provision time and time again....and have seen the same thing in my married life....time and time again.
So for the waiting part....my limited, fickle mind just figured that since the whole process that caused us to no longer be a part of the church we labored in for 10 years was so accelerated, the next phase of life must be coming just as quickly. How wrong I was! See, things don't work out that way. Haha on me!! I honestly thought that we would be moving on and away in a month, and poo on everyone around me! I think that line of thought helped aide in the waiting game. Maybe, just a little....??
So, I gave up my "I'll show you" attitude in exchange for a "God, show me" perspective, and boy oh boy, did He!! I have experienced healing, restoration, vision, guidance and love like I've not felt in a really long time! I allowed God into my heart, to dig around in those ugly feelings and hurts and disappointments, to uproot things that did not belong, and to plant things that do. I am a new creation in Christ through my pain, anger, disappointment, frustration, and self-pity. Praise God that I learned to lean on Him again, and to hear from Him again, and to fully trust in Him again!! I learned that the waiting doesn't have to be idle....but can be profitable, and life creating!
So, although I still get impatient, and frustrated, and want to hurry things along...I know that there is a plan at work, for my good and the good of those around me....and that God will do things in HIS perfect time! So again, I wait......
So, I'm learning....VERY slowly, that is NOT about what my heart wants! Nothing has happened, nothing has changed, except for me! My God is faithful to provide all my needs, according to His riches in glory! I need to stop trying to limit God, and what He wants to do in my life, and consequently, the lives of my kids. It's not just my and Jon's futures at stake here....it's our kids! I have to trust that my heavenly Daddy knows best for ALL of us!
So, from this point forward, I am open minded (and hearted) and willing to receive what God has for us! I know for certain that we can make a home wherever we land, but I want our future to be awesome!! I want God's best for all of us....not just what my heart thinks it wants at the moment....just 4 months ago, my heart was set on Greenville, SC....and about 8 months before that, my heart was in Emmaus, PA. What a fickle thing, that heart of mine!
So God....to steal some lyrics...."whatever you're doing, inside of me....it feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace....it's hard to surrender to what I can't see....but I'm giving into something heavenly!"