October Already??

Wow!! Where did September go? I was talking to my amazing husband last night, and realized I missed a whole month of my life! With my pain starting again at the end of August, and then working through it until my surgery on the 15th, to my recovery.....I missed September! Wow.  At least it's only one month out of so many in a lifetime....

Today was kind of a rough day for me. I was having all kinds of weird, intense dreams about my dad and my childhood best friend Jenn when I got awakened by my little Gidder. So, those feelings followed me throughout my day. I've just been in kind of a funk missing my family, and the easy, comfortable established relationships that we left behind when we moved to the deep south. These days are few and far between, and getting less as time goes on, but they still occasionally pop up every now and again, and I really don't like them!

I just want to say, I am so very happy with my life. I have an amazing family, am part of an incredible church and surrounded by some of the most loving people you could ever meet. I don't regret any of the decisions me and my MusicMan have made on this journey, but life is full of complex emotions. And not all of them are happy ones.

So, in spite of my sad emotions, I tried to be productive today. Why does it seem that the more I organize, the more I need to organize?? I thought chaos begat chaos, not the other way around. Anyway, in fairness to me still recovering from a major surgery, I got a decent amount accomplished, and thoroughly enjoyed the fall day we got here today! The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and everything felt fresh and new. I got to throw open the windows and enjoy the fresh air. My kitchen has my fall decor set out, and I am excitedly looking forward to Thanksgiving and visiting our family in SC! I thought we really needed it last year, but I really, really need it this year!

So, I guess there's a lot of rambling on here to say, I've had a bad day, but I am content with what I have. God has blessed me so much more beyond anything I could imagine, and I am so very thankful that I have Him first in my life. He is the constant. He is the only thing that NEVER changes! We moved 1,000 miles across the USA, but my God was with us every step of the way. He has provided for our every need. We have many "wants" that are unfulfilled, but every NEED that we have in our lives, God has met in a big way! I will never doubt, never waver, and never turn, because I know what it's like to live with God, and without Him. I don't ever want to be without Him ever again! He makes life worth it. He makes working, and living, and breathing and loving all worth it. He is the one who gives me a hope and a future.

I am so very grateful that I had parents who showed me first hand who God is. They weren't perfect, and our house wasn't happy and bubbly and cheerful 24/7,and we yelled at each other sometimes, but there was an abiding. A deep, unwavering abiding faith that God had us in the palm of His hand, and He wasn't gonna drop us. I didn't grow up knowing a lot of theology, or thinking a lot of philosophical thoughts (and quite honestly, that's still not me!), but I grew up knowing that God was God, and He knew me, my every thought and need, and He wasn't gonna ever leave me. That is what I carried with me my whole life, and I hope I am instilling that into my children. I'm not always happy, I'm very far from perfect, and I may not always have a good day.....but God knows. And He cares. And He loves me, and He's right there every step of the way!

So, good day or bad day, it doesn't matter....God's got me, and that's all that matters!

 For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;    your works are wonderful,    I know that full well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you    when I was made in the secret place,    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;    all the days ordained for me were written in your book    before one of them came to be. ¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!    How vast is the sum of them! ¹⁸ Were I to count them,    they would outnumber the grains of sand—    when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139

It's over....or just beginning?

So, I am feeling so much better from the surgery! The pain is getting less as I try to accomplish around the house and be Mommy again....not completely gone, but I am back to taking pain medicine only at night. That makes me one happy person!

But, I am one tired Mama! Seems I've been called off the sidelines and put back into action, whether I'm ready or not! Libby, Gideon and I have all been diagnosed with strep, and Jon and Gabe are fighting the good fight, but now with medicinal aid. It's been quite an interesting week. So, it seems the more I do, the more I want to do, but am not physically able to do quite yet. So, I am here, tired, but feeling satisfied. And ready to be put back into life.

Tomorrow will be Libby's first day at school this week, and Gideon will go back Friday. Gabe hasn't missed a day yet, and is begging me to let him still go. His big argument is "as long as my fever's only 99 they'll let me go, so you have to too". He's too smart for his own good, but I am thankful that he enjoys school that much!

So, here I am. Finally resting today, and mentally preparing for all I want to do tomorrow. Two things that I don't want to compromise are A HAIRCUT, and my follow up appointment for my surgery. Friday I finally get to go back to work, for just a half day, to "ease" back into my routine....

So, happy Wednesday to all, and to all, a good life! :)

And Here We Go Again

I am so inspired when I read other people's blogs, it makes me want to write again! Then life seems to happen, and I disappear. So, here is another attempt to re-enter this blog world....

Our family has been through quite a lot since we last "chatted". It's amazing all that has gone on in our house....

Jon had an accident that, according to every doctor he's seen, should have left him paralyzed at the least, dead at most. God had his hand on Jon that day! He is healing quite well, and feeling better everyday! Thank you Jesus!

I had a pain issue in the beginning of May, and it resolved after several weeks, and then started again at the end of August. This time it led to pretty serious surgery, which I believe will fix everything, but led to a two week recuperation period. Tough break for an hourly employee.....but my God shall supply all my needs! And He did!

During my recuperation, my Gidders got sick first, then Libbers. Poor Libby ended up having strep throat. But, before we found that out, Jon had another trip to an urgent care after mowing the lawn, when he broke out in hives all over, and his chest started tightening. Turns out that was an allergic reaction to, most probably, ants....

So, things have been crazy, but we have not! In the midst of everything, we have had such peace that God had us in the palm of His hand through it all. Every detail, God orchestrated perfectly to keep us fed, protected, and covered. His attention to every detail never ceases to amaze me!

Before my surgery, we had a plan that would be a simple, outpatient procedure that would only take me out of work for about 3 days....but would possibly not fix the real problem. We consulted with the doctor, we prayed, and we had those that love us pray, and came up with a plan that could take me out for 2 weeks....and we had no way to make up my salary for those days....we decided to trust God, and He worked it out! I got the procedure that Jon and I and the doctor feel will fix the issue, and the day after my surgery, we got notification that the house in PA finally sold, and we had money coming to us! The check was for more than what I make in two weeks! God is so good! We had waited and waited for this house to sell, but God had it planned for when we would need it most.

Gabe and Libby are both in Junior Bible Quiz this year, and Gabe had a great first match, earned another ribbon for it. Libby, sadly, didn't get to quiz her first time out....maybe next month!

Gidders is in Kindergarten....wow! Where did that time go?? He is doing amazing! All three of my kids are very, very smart! They do great in school, and for the most part, get along with most around them. I am a very blessed Mommy!

Jon is doing great! He has really found his place in our church, and with the staff, and is finding more everyday that he's good at! He has been amazing through all of this chaos that has been swirling around our family, and has been the absolute best husband and father to all of us!

I am still trying to get a handle on things, the house, where I fit into all of this, but it will come. I need to be completely well for a while! Work has been good, and I have to say, I've actually missed it since I've been out. But, I won't have to miss it for much longer.....

So, that's the family in a nutshell....thanks for stopping by and reading!

Too Much to Think About

So....I've been gone for a while...there is so much going on in my mind, and unfortunately, I don't want to share any of it yet! So, where does that leave us??

My new job....I LOVE it!!! I really enjoy the people I work with, the environment, and the job itself. I am happy to say I am one of the few who enjoys going to work! Yay me!!!

Church is great.....very busy, but very good! We are getting ready to do Heaven's Gates, Hell's Flames. I am in it, and am excited to get on the stage again. I really love acting! I am also very proud of my husband, who made the very best commercial I've ever seen.....go check it out on http://www.citychurchofmobile.com/! The little kid voice is my little, little man, Gideon! It seems that MusicMan has many, many talents....which I knew already! I "heart" him!

The kids are doing great....Gabe is at a Junior Bible Quiz tournament this weekend.....the semi-finals. They had a great first day of quizzing today, expecting more of the same tomorrrow for them! Libby is coming into her own love of drama, in everyday life! She is so full of life, and loves to express herself. I get a kick out of watching her! Gideon is larger than life, as usual! That kid cracks me up!! You never know what is gonna come out of that sweet little face, and usually end up in stitches!

Judith is amazing! We love having her here with us, and seeing all of the great things God is doing in her and through her. She's in the play too.....and a mighty good actress herself!! I enjoy having another (mostly)grown woman around the house!

So, that's what's been going on with me.....I miss the blog world....and hope to have a handle on my schedule and type a little more! Have a fabulous weekend all!!!

Negativity

So, this has been a post that has been on my mind for quite a while now. It's a very touchy subject for me, and something that I struggle with way too much in my life. By the grace of God, I have made great strides in this area, but it is a constant battle for me. It's just way too easy to be negative!

Philippians 4:8 tells us - "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

There is no room for negative thoughts, words or actions anywhere in that scripture! The Bible talks often about your thoughts, renewing your mind, the power of your testimony, and how powerful your words are. These things need to be intentional....nobody is "up" all the time. Nobody is completely free from negative thoughts, but the difference comes in what we do when those thoughts and feelings come. Do we dwell on them, and then release them for the whole world to hear? Or do we renew our minds with those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable? I wish I could say I do the renewing more often than I do!

Have you ever noticed that if you allow one, little seemingly insignificant negative thought to take root, it very quickly blossoms into a huge tree of negativity before you even realize it? It's amazing how quickly that little thought can become a really bad day....or two.....or three.....

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." but it doesn't stop there....the same verse continues...."Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Wow! The Message says it this way...."Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." We live in a negative world. Just look at the news. There are people everywhere doing good, but what makes the headlines? What are all of the top stories? All the negative, the bad, the ugly. To find the stories of the people making a positive change in our world, we have to dig....and sometimes they're still untold! But we can find out any negative statistic in a heartbeat. Gossip is all about what someone has done wrong, or had done wrong to them by someone else, but it's few stories we hear of blessing and favor. To talk of being blessed or blessing someone else has, for most people, become embarrassing! How sad it is for us that this is the world we live in! We need to rise above it!

Will the negative thoughts still come? Of course! WE need to be the difference! I failed this miserably this past weekend. I'm not gonna lie....I was in a seriously fast, downward spiral....and it took a lot to pull myself out of it! It all started with me feeling sick, and not being careful to guard my thoughts! The enemy of our souls will attack the hardest when we are down, and believe me, he knows how to get you down!! We need to know our enemy, and our weaknesses, so that when he tries to come in to rob us of our blessed life, we can STAND, and FIGHT, and TAKE HIM OUT!!! The fight was already fought, and the war was already won for us....we just need to remember that we are the victors! I think we (I know I do this) get so caught up in the fight, that we let it drag us down, and we give in to the negative thoughts that are like a weight around us, and we forget that Jesus already paid the price for us to be free!! This is why it's so important to know the Word, and have it in you, so that you can be prepared when the attacks come. The Word is our sword, and we won't take any ground without our weapons! We need to come against those thoughts with our swords swinging! We need to keep our minds stayed on Christ!

I want to encourage myself, and you as well, to guard against negativity! Stand on the Word of God, and the promises that He has made you! Believe what He says about you! Know who you are and who you belong to - and STAND VICTORIOUS!! This is a fight that comes constantly, and we have to be actively fighting. We lose if we become complacent. That's what happened to me, and I don't want it to happen to you!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Today is a new day for us all! Let's be world changers....one positive thought at a time! Just imagine what this world would be like if we all chose to focus on the positive, and not the negative.....

A Peaceful Home

So, after several attempts at a post, I'm going all or nothing right now! For some reason this theme of peace and home won't leave my brain, so I'm gonna go with that!

My Music-Man and I work very hard to maintain a peaceful atmosphere in our home. Of course we have our moments where we snap at the kids, or at each other. Come on! We're not perfect! BUT, peace is very important to us.

My house is not the nicest, or the best decorated or furnished by far, but it is very comfortable, and very welcoming. I want people to feel at home when they walk through my doors, and want to come back! I love coming home to what we've worked so hard to cultivate....and I long to be here when I've been away for too long.

Isaiah 32:18 says - "My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." This is what I so desperately want for my home, and family. There is so much strife and uncertainty in the rest of the world, I do NOT want that spilling into my home or my family!

We aren't perfect, but we love each other, and we love people, and we love having people in our home!! I am learning that home may not necessarily be where the heart is, cause I'm leaving parts of mine all over the eastern seaboard...but I feel VERY at home here! Home is your refuge, your safe place, the place you long to be when you're away from it. The place that looks like you, and reflects you, the who you are in the very core of you. Home is where your story begins! :)

Dreams, Plans and a New Year

Well, the holiday season was just amazing for our family! We had a fantastic, peaceful Christmas, followed by a week of a house full of family, and a great start to this new year!

2010 could not have ended any better for my little family. We had a new friend (and now, new addition to our family) stay with us on Christmas Eve, and enjoy all of the Christmas morning chaos in our home! This was her first Christmas away from home, and we were happy to welcome her into our hearts. We all (especially the kids) were excited to bless her, and share our family with her on Christmas morning. Judith is  now living with us, and quickly becoming a part of our family unit.

Shortly after Christmas, my mom, brother and sister in law and niece and nephew came to stay with us for a few days, and see what life in Alabama is like for us. We packed a lot of fun into just 5 days! We went to Gulf Shores, New Orleans, the doctor (for my brother's back-he hurt it on the plane on the way here) and took a driving tour of downtown Mobile. It was just a good time to reconnect and show my family the new area of the world we are living in.

Since the start of 2011, God has been doing some amazing things in Jon and I. We had a women's conference this past Saturday, and God just spoke to me in such an impactful way! There were some dreams in me that I had let die, due to lack of support and sense of self worth.....but God is faithful, and if He has called you to do something, He won't let it die out! He spoke to me in such a clear way about some things that I was completely blown away, and now even more excited to see what this year will hold for me! Even the fact that I am thinking about something for me is a huge deal!

God shows me more and more the importance of even having a dream. My heart breaks for the people walking around out there with no dreams or plans for their future, the people who are stuck in survival mode. That is just no way to live! Life is so much fuller when you have a vision, or goal, to work towards, something that makes you feel alive, and gives you the desire to move forward. I grieve for those who feel they have no dream, or that their dreams have died. As long as you are alive and breathing, you can dream! If one dream has failed, its not too late to dream another dream! Live for something bigger than you! It makes everything worth it!

So, I am excited for this new year, and all the possibility it holds. The beginning of this year is so drastically different from last, and leaves me with an overwhelming feeling of - HOPE! I pray that you and your family will experience that same feeling for 2011....